You gotta be warped to be a security guard... and you gotta be demented to be night shift on a university campus X3.
Here's a little taste of how we all tell dates and times. This is day and night shift, since we each have a few.

Call in:
"FIRE ALARMS IN FACULTY AND DEAN BUILDING! ALL UNITS ATTEND!"
Means:
Monday... and someone made toast.

Call in:
*Dead quiet*
Means:
Tuesday

Call in:
"We have three males fleeing with a chair"
Means:
Wednesday, pub night T-T

Call in:
"FIRE ALARM IN RESIDENCE!"
Means:
Thursday... morning after pub night... and someone made toast.
*ever seen a hung over student with a migraine headache when a metal fire bell goes off next to their head? X3*

Call in:
"We have an unconscious individual on the couch in sciences, I checked them for ID and they are a (student/grad/professor)" *they all look the same... homeless*
Means:
Friday night

Call in:
"We have tree simutainious intrusion alarms on the third floor of west class rooms, and a motion sensor alert a floor above. It's likely the clearers and that system error again, please attend and silence." (repeat six times over the next four hours)
What it means:
Hi, how were your days off? Enjoy your "Monday"

Call in:
\"..schhhhhhhhh....bzzzzt......beep...beep...schhhhhh...\"
means:
Someone is dozed off sitting on their radio, aka it's his "Friday"

Call in:
"Two more pipes just exploded"
Means:
The temperature has dipped below freezing

Call in:
"Another group somehow got on the roof, this time they brought tanning chairs"
Means:
It's warm and sunny

Call in:
"A group of students is requesting assistance getting from the Library to residence, try to stick to the walls"
Means:
It's REALLY foggy.

Call in:
"We need cleaners to third floor, that student who has been sitting here cramming for three days blacked out and spilt his pile of half finished energy drinks."
means:
Midterms X3

Call in:
"A fourth vending machine has been gutted, and... hold on... we need all units to Education offices for another break in alarm NOW!"
Means:
It's Christmas break... "shopping" season... and we're short another MAC.

Call in:
"Please repeat... there is no why I heard that right... you said the WATER in the URINAL is on FIRE?"
Means:
Chemistry Professor just got tenured.


Now imagine this... My shift's "monday" starts on Wednesday night.
"We have tree simutainious intrusion alarms on the third floor of west class rooms, and a motion sensor alert a floor above. It's likely the clearers and that system error again, please attend and silence... and we have three males fleeing you way with chair"

Any of you got interesting ways of telling what time/day it is?

Oh and
GO SEE AVATAR!!!!!!